Here it is!!!!

I am here for work, but as most know me, I do not know where my profession ends and self begins. So, bottomline - I am a very passionate worker - Krishna would not be proud of me. But, I am definitely trying to follow Gita to the dot.

Anyway, mi poquito habla espanol (speak little Spanish). And, I am a very picky eater too, plus a vegetarian. Here, except for desserts, some life is used in each dish. Even beans and rice have chicken broth in it. Soon, I was avoiding food and eating more dessert and drinking more chocolate than any sane person.

I fell sick, I was hospitalized. It had a lot to do with the altitude than my eating, me thinks.

People in Durango cared a lot about me that not for a second did I feel alone, even in hospital bed. The plant doctor was rubbing my forehead. The controller had my stuff packed and delivered to the hotel I stayed at. The plant manager, every morning at breakfast tells me how much he is worried about me, he said I could have gotten into coma if I had not been hospitalized at the right time. I think he was just trying to scare me to pay more attention to my health and food habits.

When I came back, the hotel employees would give me 10000 suggestions on how I could have avoided the fainting incident

They let me use their kitchen freely at any time of the day. The same at the plant cafeteria too. To top it off, one night a hotel employee knocked at 10.30 pm…I hastily dressed myself and opened the door…expecting a call from work. He told me that the people at the hotel’s restaurant were worried that I did not go to dine that day. Then I explained to him that I had gone to a nearby place on the road

But, here is the bottomline: Even without a proper verbal communication, people of Mexico made it very clear to me that they cared about other humans that they may not interact with after a few days and did not know a few days earlier. It was as though I was their pet animal whose language they understood by heart and they greatly cared for. I can live in Durango for the rest of my life.

I just wonder what the hell is it that people use violence for when there is so much love in everyone’s hearts.

I have recovered completely since then, esta bien.

I was thinking of not writing anymore on my blog, only because now I am keeping a personal journal and see no need in sharing my opinions with the online community. But, I just wantd to say some about Obama.

1. I am very proud of him and very happy for him. He pursued a fairy tale that came true and everyone wants to be a part of it.
2. I truly want him to succeed. Even if he doesn’t, I believe he is a leader with the right intentions.
3. His wife is the best first-lady with her regular looks and extraordinary brilliance.
4. Obama ROCKS!!!!

My God is right, the only One.

Why is it then I am not "better" than the sinner is?

Maybe God is testing me…

to see if I do my best,

my best to kill the sinner.

My government is right.

Bordering country is unbelievable.

I am patriotic and willing to give,

give my life and take that of many others,

in order to make my flag fly higher.

I do not believe in my self-will.

To make sure I am not confused,

I have to be the only existent.

I am wrong.

I am wrong.

All I want to do is love.

Love is God,

Love is right,

Love is being respectful, unconditionally.

I  may win,

I may lose,

But life is definitely a game.

A game where ends and means are not always related.

A game where outcome is unimportant.

Integrity of the players makes life valuable.

Whether I like it or not, I am in the field.

I will not devalue life, the opportunity that cannot be taken for granted..but nurtured.

My God is right, and the only One.

Why is it then I am not Better,

but the sinner is?

Maybe God is testing me…

to see if I do my best,

best to love and forgive.

Better yet, not to judge.

My government is right.

Bordering country is unbelievable.

I am patriotic and willing to give,

give  all to meet midway.

Better yet, find a way to peace and joy.

I do not believe in my self-will.

To make sure I am not confused,

Let me be humble,

Better yet, see the OTHER SIDE!!!

My Entry to this week’s  

Russian literature awes me in its description and the way words fall in a line, mostly like how I think in Tamil and not how I am taught to write in English. Ever since I read Jhumpa Lahiri’s Namesake, I’ve thought of reading Gogol. The final push was when I requested Tolstoy’s Kingdom of God is Within You (The book  that gave Mahatma thoughts on realizing non-violence in addition to Bhagavad Gita) and PPLS has ordered it just for me:) AND I am 154th in line for The Last Lecture, REALLY!!!!

The story is about a government document copier, Akaky Akakievich. All that he ever cared about was his job, not what his co-workers thought of him, social life, or family. Then one day, he is in need of an overcoat. After months of planning and budgeting, he gets a new one and the whole world notices him. As he begins to enjoy the coat, he encounters thieves who take it away. His attempts to find it are a waste in his corrupted country. One official yells at him cruel enough to make Akaky sick and die.

But, he comes as a ghost and teaches a lesson to the citizens of St. Petersburg.

Gogol’s words are ordered very logically in place, if you can understand what I mean. The words are just how a non-native English speaker thinks. I enjoyed the wordiness, description of places, people, emotions brought out in this short story. I lived in various characters myslf. St.Petersburg, now Leningrad, was brought alive in Gogol’s creation and reminded of many cities I have been in. Government’s inefficiency and corruption portrayed in 1842 is still true in most places of the world, discouraging as it is.

Somehow, we all can see ourselves in tiny bits in the various characters in this shortstory.

Somehow, every city is partially described in this too, and so are all emotions.

Dostoyevsky was right in saying We have all come from under THE OVERCOAT.

All the questions I have on God, Socialism, and a variety of other issues have obviously risen in Tolstoy’s mind too. And, he has written these short stories for people like me who have a lifestyle that will not accomodate reading long essays. I liked every story in this collection.

1. The Son of a Thief: Only God can judge others, we only have the right to forgive and love.

2. The repentant Sinner: If you ask for forgivance, God will will forgiv you, no matter what. I found this a little against my own philosophy and faith, according to which you reap what you sow.

3. The Archangel Gabriel: Means of worship is not as important as the heart that does it.

4. The Prayer: "Why pray to God if he can do such terrible things?" I have asked this question a zillion times and have even questioned the presence of God. but now I think, Tolstoy was correct in this story…We humans can never understand the masterplan and it is not right for us to question the happenings of life, just give it our best.

5. The Poor People: poor fisherman’s family with a daily struggle to feed 5 kids adopts 2 more neighbor’s children when they are orphaned. Are they really poor? No.

6. A coffeehouse in the city of Surat: My favorite. People from different religion fight about one true God.

7. Kornei Vasiliev: Story of Cheat, forgivance, repentance.

8. A grain of rye, the size of a chicken egg: Work is worship

9. The Berries: I did not read it. know not why.

10. Stones: Confess our sins no matter how small they are. Like a sculptor of your own statue, keep hipping away the sins.

11. The Big Dipper: charity is great.

12. The power of childhood: An accused is freed as the society cares not to create an orphan.

13. Why did it happen:

14. Divine and Human: Same situation between 2 people brings out different outcomes, based on ego & belief. The one who storngly believes in an ideal while reducing self to zero becomes divine. Whereas, the other, leader of the first is a mere human due to denial.

15. Requirements of love: it is UNCONDITIONAL.

16. Sisters: I do not understand why Tolstoy thought prostitutes need to be treated like sisters…