Here it is!!!!

Home is not the place I sleep

it is the place that wakes me to my senses

Even before I land, the street lamps do an arati

in the dark cloudless skies of my Madras.

I will be within the first few to clear customs

and get out of the airport to give my mom the most non-customary hug.

We shed a few tears of happiness as my dad and I have a respectfully affectionate exchange of looks.

Then, we get to the car and I’ll say how hungry I am to eat idlis.

My mom says ‘you used to hate them during school-days,

so I’ve made phulkas and matar paneer for you.

But not to worry, I have the batter for Idli too.’

This at 3am when the whole world is sleeping.

Then I talk all the way to 7.00am,

even as my mom draws Kolam

boils the milk and makes filter coffee decoction

and my dad gets his Hindu newspaper.

I just talk and talk.

Meanwhile the milkman and the paperman have updated our housing community of my arrival and people have started coming to our house to greet me.

My dear daughter is so quiet and they take her to their house for giving sweets.

They say she is like my husband in her quietness

I still talk and be my own naughty self and tease them all single-handedly,

My mom feeds food in my mouth now that I am not hungry after all the love showered on me.

Then, she asks me to go lock the room and sleep.

I know if I don’t listen to her, I will be in trouble and do as she says.

As I doze off, I can hear phone ringing, my husband making sure I’ve reached home safely.

Entry to

I am going to pretend I got tagged by Vidya on Collections.

I am going to be very honest, I admire and encourage all kinds of collections my friends have - magnets, bells, shot glasses, crosses, books, key chains, stamps, coins, ….But, it is not for me. When I travel I don’t like to be bogged with making memories, if it makes any sense. To me, I like to see things as I see at that time. Take a few pictures with people I care about, not the usual sceneries, sunsets, or sunrises…but just people not places. Always I end up collecting the contacts of fellow tourists and even passengers, so in a way I can say I collect lives No matter how many times it has happened, I am always amazed when the person sitting next to me gives his/her business card, especially in the present day culture that treasures privacy.

I have been very conscious of the fact that I live out of one suitcase and even before that my husband’s uncertainty client site and before that my dad’s transferable job have always made me give more importance to things that cannot be left behind - memories to cherish.

That made clear, I do collect dinner sets, crystalware, flatwares, servewares and other things related to eating food. I think this has to do with the  fact kitchen/dining time is very important to me and the people I eat food with will always be considered as a part of me no matter we part or not. I have more dinner plates made out of more kinds of materials than most I know. Even if I have a large gathering I will never need paper plates that I detest

My first plate resembled a TV, a square with a circle and rectangle on the right side to hold curries, chutneys, or in my case my mom-made mango jam for idlis and dosas and anything else in the world. I loved it and used it until my mom gave it away to our maid since she thought I had outgrown it. Giving away to maids was one way my mom did what I would have otherwise raised a hell for. She smart.

Then I liked regualar round stainless steel plates for the rest of my life in parents place.

When I got married and landed in US, two of the first gifts I received that same day were a fine china dinner set from Mikasa for four and a matcing coffee serving set. It was a delicate english pattern with blue flowers and green vine. I still own it and take it out only for special occasions for just my family of three. It is a very personal gift since both of those friends are in NJ and OR, faraway from where I am. I do use the coffee sets more often due to my love for tea.

When I returned to India for the first time, my parents gifted me with a La Opala complete set for 6, coffee mugs and tea cups and saucers and the whole thing. I was wondering how to bring it back to my house 24 hours of flight time away without breaking. My dad said he will pack it and check it in and assured me that nothing will break, it did not. I love him. I treasure this one too and use it sparingly. Much later, my daughter did break one teacup when she had just started walking. My husband thought that either tears were going to well up or I was going to yell but I was not upset at all, I found it funny just like I always adore her. After all, she was learning that dropping things on carpet was ok but not on kitchen tiles.

Now that we had our own house, I told my husband we need to buy 1 set for everday use - and off we went to Mikasa and got one that we do use everyday and actually got 2 coffee mugs broken too.

Recently I had gone to Mexico and had to buy myself a classic blue and white dinner set in memory of all the dinners that were served to me in kind homes every night and the fun dance nights we had. This we are using a lot too.

As we made more friends, thanks to my daughter and husband, I bought a dozen corelle dinner plates and a dozen stainless plates and tumblers for kids.

My mother-in-law sent 4 TV plates for my daughter and her friends and she loves it. Once again proves the circle of life.

My friend gave me coffee mugs as graduation gift for my MBA realizing the mugs of coffee it took to be a Dean’s Scholar. Those are my personal faves.

And here is  my new favourite for cappuccino:

My daughter recently broke a crystal drinkware and "cleaned" it up before we woke up. I was worried and I told her crystal contains lead which is poisonous and next time she should let us clean it. I also told her I was sad that she broke it, now the set will always remain incomplete since it is not in stores anymore and we cannot just like that replace it since that would be unfair to the remaining set. She volunteered not to touch the crystalware without asking me and conveyed her apologies. Was I exploiting her emotions? I don’t know…

 One day after work, I felt very lonely, family and friends seperated by time and distance. I questioned my decision to follow my career all along knowing I love it truly. Then I remembered some of my close friends who had bigger problems than loneliness, especially those who were terminally ill and their living days were numbered. That same day, I received an email from someone I respect and adore a lot, and it was obvious I had lost this person from my life. I suddenly felt lost in the ocean of life looking for a beacon of light. I randomly saw this book’s synopsis on bn.com:

Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher. Someone older who understood you when you were young and searching, who helped you see the world as a more profound place, and gave you advice to help you make your way through it.

I immediately wanted to read it that I actually bought the book at 11.00pm for all of $15, it is a very big amount for me and I always use public libraries. I am glad I did that, I am going to send it to my sister. Sometimes, when I have a good book close to me, I feel I am with a good friend. My loneliness vanishes.

Morrie’s preparation for his death with serenity and love is what this book revolves around. There is another book I read with the same theme, The Last Lecture, but Morrie’s teachings stick in my mind more.

He talks about

1. how we need to live life like we will never live another day. He says "learn how to die, and you learn how to live."
2. how to detach from emotions by first letting it wash through you completely.
3. dying peacefully. And for that you need to love the way you lived your life - forgive others, but most importantly forgive yourself for your errors.
4. how youth is so overrated when with age we become better persons.
5. Money is not the primary source of joy as our culture paints.
6. We live after we die in the loving memories of others.
7. Spouse and kids are irreplaceable joys of life.
8. Love is the only rational act. Love or die.

Just like that, on that same day I found my high school math teacher on a social netowrking site. She had left a message for me saying she remembered me and had spelled my name in the exact wrong way I rebelliously spelled during my teen years . I was exhilarated. I realized I always have a ‘Morrie’ by my side. They just are different physical entities. Even though I have been losing them, I have always found them back, just like Mitch.