Here it is!!!!

Going Home Again

Administrator — Mon, 04 May 2009 00:54:12 +0000

Home is not the place I sleep

it is the place that wakes me to my senses

Even before I land, the street lamps do an arati

in the dark cloudless skies of my Madras.

I will be within the first few to clear customs

and get out of the airport to give my mom the most non-customary hug.

We shed a few tears of happiness as my dad and I have a respectfully affectionate exchange of looks.

Then, we get to the car and I’ll say how hungry I am to eat idlis.

My mom says ‘you used to hate them during school-days,

so I’ve made phulkas and matar paneer for you.

But not to worry, I have the batter for Idli too.’

This at 3am when the whole world is sleeping.

Then I talk all the way to 7.00am,

even as my mom draws Kolam

boils the milk and makes filter coffee decoction

and my dad gets his Hindu newspaper.

I just talk and talk.

Meanwhile the milkman and the paperman have updated our housing community of my arrival and people have started coming to our house to greet me.

My dear daughter is so quiet and they take her to their house for giving sweets.

They say she is like my husband in her quietness

I still talk and be my own naughty self and tease them all single-handedly,

My mom feeds food in my mouth now that I am not hungry after all the love showered on me.

Then, she asks me to go lock the room and sleep.

I know if I don’t listen to her, I will be in trouble and do as she says.

As I doze off, I can hear phone ringing, my husband making sure I’ve reached home safely.

Entry to

Collection - Pretend Tag

Administrator — Sun, 03 May 2009 21:22:40 +0000

I am going to pretend I got tagged by Vidya on Collections.

I am going to be very honest, I admire and encourage all kinds of collections my friends have - magnets, bells, shot glasses, crosses, books, key chains, stamps, coins, ….But, it is not for me. When I travel I don’t like to be bogged with making memories, if it makes any sense. To me, I like to see things as I see at that time. Take a few pictures with people I care about, not the usual sceneries, sunsets, or sunrises…but just people not places. Always I end up collecting the contacts of fellow tourists and even passengers, so in a way I can say I collect lives No matter how many times it has happened, I am always amazed when the person sitting next to me gives his/her business card, especially in the present day culture that treasures privacy.

I have been very conscious of the fact that I live out of one suitcase and even before that my husband’s uncertainty client site and before that my dad’s transferable job have always made me give more importance to things that cannot be left behind - memories to cherish.

That made clear, I do collect dinner sets, crystalware, flatwares, servewares and other things related to eating food. I think this has to do with the fact kitchen/dining time is very important to me and the people I eat food with will always be considered as a part of me no matter we part or not. I have more dinner plates made out of more kinds of materials than most I know. Even if I have a large gathering I will never need paper plates that I detest

My first plate resembled a TV, a square with a circle and rectangle on the right side to hold curries, chutneys, or in my case my mom-made mango jam for idlis and dosas and anything else in the world. I loved it and used it until my mom gave it away to our maid since she thought I had outgrown it. Giving away to maids was one way my mom did what I would have otherwise raised a hell for. She smart.

Then I liked regualar round stainless steel plates for the rest of my life in parents place.

When I got married and landed in US, two of the first gifts I received that same day were a fine china dinner set from Mikasa for four and a matcing coffee serving set. It was a delicate english pattern with blue flowers and green vine. I still own it and take it out only for special occasions for just my family of three. It is a very personal gift since both of those friends are in NJ and OR, faraway from where I am. I do use the coffee sets more often due to my love for tea.

When I returned to India for the first time, my parents gifted me with a La Opala complete set for 6, coffee mugs and tea cups and saucers and the whole thing. I was wondering how to bring it back to my house 24 hours of flight time away without breaking. My dad said he will pack it and check it in and assured me that nothing will break, it did not. I love him. I treasure this one too and use it sparingly. Much later, my daughter did break one teacup when she had just started walking. My husband thought that either tears were going to well up or I was going to yell but I was not upset at all, I found it funny just like I always adore her. After all, she was learning that dropping things on carpet was ok but not on kitchen tiles.

Now that we had our own house, I told my husband we need to buy 1 set for everday use - and off we went to Mikasa and got one that we do use everyday and actually got 2 coffee mugs broken too.

Recently I had gone to Mexico and had to buy myself a classic blue and white dinner set in memory of all the dinners that were served to me in kind homes every night and the fun dance nights we had. This we are using a lot too.

As we made more friends, thanks to my daughter and husband, I bought a dozen corelle dinner plates and a dozen stainless plates and tumblers for kids.

My mother-in-law sent 4 TV plates for my daughter and her friends and she loves it. Once again proves the circle of life.

My friend gave me coffee mugs as graduation gift for my MBA realizing the mugs of coffee it took to be a Dean’s Scholar. Those are my personal faves.

And here is my new favourite for cappuccino:

My daughter recently broke a crystal drinkware and "cleaned" it up before we woke up. I was worried and I told her crystal contains lead which is poisonous and next time she should let us clean it. I also told her I was sad that she broke it, now the set will always remain incomplete since it is not in stores anymore and we cannot just like that replace it since that would be unfair to the remaining set. She volunteered not to touch the crystalware without asking me and conveyed her apologies. Was I exploiting her emotions? I don’t know…

tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

Administrator — Sat, 02 May 2009 03:13:43 +0000

One day after work, I felt very lonely, family and friends seperated by time and distance. I questioned my decision to follow my career all along knowing I love it truly. Then I remembered some of my close friends who had bigger problems than loneliness, especially those who were terminally ill and their living days were numbered. That same day, I received an email from someone I respect and adore a lot, and it was obvious I had lost this person from my life. I suddenly felt lost in the ocean of life looking for a beacon of light. I randomly saw this book’s synopsis on bn.com:

Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher. Someone older who understood you when you were young and searching, who helped you see the world as a more profound place, and gave you advice to help you make your way through it.

I immediately wanted to read it that I actually bought the book at 11.00pm for all of $15, it is a very big amount for me and I always use public libraries. I am glad I did that, I am going to send it to my sister. Sometimes, when I have a good book close to me, I feel I am with a good friend. My loneliness vanishes.

Morrie’s preparation for his death with serenity and love is what this book revolves around. There is another book I read with the same theme, The Last Lecture, but Morrie’s teachings stick in my mind more.

He talks about

how we need to live life like we will never live another day. He says "learn how to die, and you learn how to live."
how to detach from emotions by first letting it wash through you completely.
dying peacefully. And for that you need to love the way you lived your life - forgive others, but most importantly forgive yourself for your errors.
how youth is so overrated when with age we become better persons.
Money is not the primary source of joy as our culture paints.
We live after we die in the loving memories of others.
Spouse and kids are irreplaceable joys of life.
Love is the only rational act. Love or die.

Just like that, on that same day I found my high school math teacher on a social netowrking site. She had left a message for me saying she remembered me and had spelled my name in the exact wrong way I rebelliously spelled during my teen years . I was exhilarated. I realized I always have a ‘Morrie’ by my side. They just are different physical entities. Even though I have been losing them, I have always found them back, just like Mitch.

Exercise

Administrator — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:06:31 +0000

The word reminds me of math

That I so dreaded

As I left school I always fretted

I will decide to take a bath

And do anything but the allotted

Somehow I always got promoted

Now, looking back, it was a path

I followed that gave me the heart

To choose in my life the right start

Because it is through mistakes you learn

How to correct the reality that is torn

Had I done my exercises on time

I might’ve have been a bigger dime

But what is life without a fall and a climb.

My entry to

And we wonder why other countries think we are self-possessd

Administrator — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:28:36 +0000

I am not watching you CNN

I voted for Obama, but seriously not for his race. I did not think it was time we had a black president, just a right one. And Michelle is his wife, that is all. For all you know, Obama might have his own Lewinsky and I am fine with that too, since his personal life is his own.

And, India doesn’t need any messages from Michelle, we had our first woman prime minister within 35 years of independence, US is counting 230+ yet. We have elected political leaders from all kinds of minorities, not just based sex or color, to top it off - we don’t even consider that as accomplishments, just patriotism and democracy at work.

CNN, stop this and try to focus on ETHNIC CLEANSING going in Sri Lanka, AIDS in Africa and India, …. Even better, focus on economy, ECOnomy, and education and health systems. It doesn’t matter if Michelle is Aryan or not, RESULTS do

The Bridge Across Forever - Richard Bach

Administrator — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:19:58 +0000

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK, not worth the time

There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.

That’s what learning is, after all: not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, winning.

Anyone you want to keep in your life - never take them for granted!

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

Administrator — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 02:29:09 +0000

My friend could not stop singing this book’s praises. I had earlier picked up Hosseini’s sequel to this - A Thousand Splendid Suns and put it away for some forgotten reason. So, I was not listening to her. But again she told me to try this and it is a much better book than its sequel. Ash: For you, a thousand times over

I expected this book to be all about terrorists, Osama Bin Laden, and USA. Pleasantly surprising, it was not. It was about a child, dad, friend, fear, courage, and basic humanity. I almost could feel the connection with Amir until he went back into Kabul. And after reading this book, olden Kabul appears very similar to my native town in South India. Even the words are from hindi.

My own mother along with her parents and siblings moved into India from Burma during the civil war in Burma. My mom has told me of the house she lived until she was 10 and how her dad used to throw all these parties. My grandfather was the world to my mother until he passed away with a cardiac arrest. My mother’s descriptions of Burma fits perfectly of Amir’s dad’s Kabul.

Also, the way Amir treats his dad, is exactly how I treat my mom, she is larger than life figure for me. She helps anyone who goes to her for help, she is very fair, and very courageous. But, there are still things I find as flaws in her, just as any daughter is entitled too. I love my mom, I hate my mom, just like Amir did with his dad. Everything I am today, my life in USA, my husband, everything is a gift to me from my mom. I love her, I miss her. She is alive though but I keep postponing my visit to India due to some random reasons. No one can leave my mom’s house without the stomachs filled with a lot of tasty food. My cousin used to say, devi athai veetttukku ponaa, mothallaiye pothumnu sonnathaan rendaavathu thadavaikku apram ezhundhrikka viduvaanga - If you tell enough food, aunt will still serve it 2 more times before you can leave the table.

Because we always had visitors from morning till night, we always used to have tea/coffee and food at all times in our house. Nowadays, I don’t get that kind of treatment even in Chennai. But my mom is still the same. Since she is getting older, she will quietly order at the nearby Karaikudi / Ponnusamy She will not let anyone leave the house without kai nanaikkama - wetting their hands to clean after eating food.

My mom also spent more time solving the miseries of her friends’ lives than she ever spent time with me privately. Even on days of my celebration it felt like her whole world was invited and she spent her time taking care of them. This might be one of the reasons I try to spend a lot of 1 on 1 time with my child than throwing parties for her birthdays. But, I have also inherited the fact I cannot not invite anyone to my parties, and in USA it is not feasible to invite all our friends home on the same day

And my mom will always want to do more to others than she gets, and her left did not know what her right hand did.

And just like Amir, I always feel guilty that I have not come even close to mom in her magnanimity and generosity and patience. A friend teases me that the G in my name stands for guilty.

Amir himself becomes a bigger man than his dad by accepting Hazara into his family. Although I possibly cannot imagine that in my case, I am peaceful and thankful I have the mom I do.

I wish books like this replaced history and civics textbooks in school.

Some lines that took my breath away:

"They do nothing but thumb their prayer beads and recite a book written in a tongue they don’t even understand." He took a sip. "God help us all if Afghanistan ever falls into their hands."

And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everone else does too.

After everything he’d built, planned, fought for, fretted over, dreamed of, this was the summation of his life: one disppointing son and two suitcases.

I reached across the table and put my hand on his. My student hand, clean and soft, on his laborer’s hand, grubby and calloused. I thought of all the trucks, train sets and bikes he’d bought me in Kabul. Now America. One last gift for Amir.

When we left, everyone was sad to see him go. Kabul, Peshawar, Hayward. Same old Baba, I thought, smiling.

I took the keys, stunned. I looked from him to the car. "You’ll need it to go to college," he said. I took his hand in mine. Squeezed it. My eyes were tearing over and I was glad for the shadows that hid our faces. "Thank you, Baba."

There was so much goodness in my life. So much happiness. I wondered whether I deserved any of it.

The idea of fatherhood unleashed a swirl of emotions in me. I found it frightening, inviogorating, daunting, and exhilarating all at the same time. What sort of father would I make, I wondered. I wanted to be just like Baba and I wanted to be nothing like him.

A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer.

And that I believe is what true redemption is, Amir jan, when guilt leads to good.

Love

Administrator — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:35:56 +0000

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

That is one thing I will give my all

Even if it leads to many a fall

Love can only make me tall

Those who don’t hear the call

Are nothing but small.

To know more of the quote click here

My humble entry to

Who is a Best Friend?

Administrator — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:16:29 +0000

This was a question Anand had on his blog sometime back.

And I commented on it just as I felt.

I would really like to know how people feel about this.

Maestros in Concert - University of Arizona Presents

Administrator — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:17:35 +0000

This was a concert featuring Ustad Zakir Hussain (Tabla) and Pandit Shiv Kumar (Santoor). It lasted for 2 hours and felt like 2 miutes. The music was heavenly. Started off with a solo by Shiv Kumar and then Zakir Hussain joined in with his Tabla. We were requested not to take any pictures but the scene will always stay in mind. Shiv Kumar on center stage, Hussain to his right facing sideways. I could not believe his humility and he did not even utter a single word. It looked like he was a die hard fan of Shiv Kumar. All in all, they were a great team and it was nice combo of tabla and santoor. Even the fine tuning of the instruments before the performance started was very melodious. The music was astoundingly mesmerizing.

I was exhilarated.

Thank you U of A, Tucson.